I know people often are so afraid they will say the wrong thing that they stay away. But we need to have our friends, family, and well-wishers near us. However, sometimes people may say the wrong thing. Here are a few examples.


Now as soon as you hear these phrases throw them away never to even think about them again.


7. One of her male friends said, “I would never marry a woman with one breast.” 


6.  “You’ve got to die with something.” 


5.  “If I could get my stomach is flat as yours, I might consider having cancer.


4.  “I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t call or send a card or a text.” “I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.” 


3.  Your spouse told me what happened to you. I’m so sorry to hear it.”

This is not his/her story to tell, it’s yours.


2.  “You don’t look so good.” 


1. “My uncle, (aunt, mother, sister, etc.) had the same thing you have and… “

You know, the story seldom ends well.


What You Could Say/Do
INSTEAD of what’s above, you can always send a card or a note. Maybe just a “I’m thinking of you”. You could drop off a little book that has jokes or silly things in it. Consider sending something to make the person smile.


if you know they like fashion give them whatever fashion magazine they prefer. 


I have a friend who dropped off a huge pot of home-made vegetable soup 3 or more times during my cancer journey. I could freeze part of the soup and have it when I wanted with little or no preparation. When you don’t have a lot of energy to think or plan, having a meal at your fingertips works wonders! Thanks, Denise. That may not be your ‘cup of tea’, but it helped me.



What Counts?
What people need is a helping hand, not negative thoughts or words. They need to know you are there, even if you’re afraid they may ask you to do something you aren’t willing or can’t do. (That seldom happens.) 


When in doubt about what to say, whisper a quick prayer before talking with your friend. (It couldn’t hurt.) The important thing is to be there to be a lifeline and maintain the friendship you both hold so dear.


Trust in God – A. Brown


 “Don’t look for big things; just do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

Dr. Harriette

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