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What is it like being a caregiver when I was cared for so expertly? When I was a caregiver last month I realized – it’s really hard work! And it wasn’t that major big deal. I mean, my patient was mobile, just moving slowly and unable to lift heavy things.



Cooking & Care Giving
But, I was cooking three meals a day.  (More than I usually make per day!) He was hungry and needed to keep up his strength. I’m used to fixing a smoothie in the morning, maybe some eggs & grits before I go to work. Then dinner in the evening so at most two meals a day. Well, he wanted more. The crazy thing was I was cooking/eating three meals a day and losing a pound a day!

Edward usually does intermittent fasting so he eats between 11am and 7pm, but he usually has a bigger lunch than I do. I gave him what he requested. After all, that’s what caregivers do. ( I’m just glad he didn’t have a bell to ring me, as Rev Taylor asked.)

I was always with him (my choice), except when I went to class and for a couple of breaks. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable and well-fed. (Although I am not the cook that my friends are, I did my best.) It really helped me when he told me what he wanted. (Wives are not mind-readers, even though some husbands think we are sometimes.)


I was so tired at the end of each day. It was an emotional tiredness because I really wanted do my best. Even when nothing appeared to be happening and there was no request, I was trying to anticipate what he might need.

I wonder if I was like this as a patient through my two bouts with cancer? I didn’t sense people were so worried or so emotionally connected to me as they probably were. I sure hope I was a good patient! I hope I told Edward and the girls (now ladies) how appreciative I was for their excellent care. I’m sure I thanked them for what they were doing for me. But I don’t know if I ever really said it and expressed how truly grateful I was. (I know it helps when you say it.)

My daughter and son-in-law always thank me or us for coming to visit and caring for the boys. They don’t have to say it but it means so much when they do. It is our pleasure just to be around them all and have some time with the boys by ourselves. “Yep, sure, you’re going out okay – see ya when we see ya.” Hey guys, let’s play monopoly…


Well, now Edward’s feeling better and going to work but still taking it easy. I still want to make sure that he eats well and you know that may cause me to cook a bit more. But that’s OK too.


I just needed a break at least a couple of times a week, maybe daily, even if it’s just grace and a cup of soup from Panera bread. All in all, I am so happy he’s so much better and I’m happy I’m not itchy anymore. I’m not thrilled about my arm but it is something I can live with. Bite post link So I’m giving away things that are too tight because the arm is larger and those things don’t fit as well as they used to. Whoopee, someone else’s gain!



What Counts?
Care for yourselves well, and for others.

“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.” – Carson McCullers



Dr. Harriette

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